just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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