weddingsv make me drug and hornr
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
