Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
