how can u be prego again
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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