everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
