Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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