This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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