This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Mom said you looked used
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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