Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
