but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
