i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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