Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
