Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
