I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
