i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
