So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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