I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he puts the penis in happiness.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
