Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
