Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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