What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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