That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
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