Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I just cut my nipple shaving
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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