addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
