Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
