We're like a lot better than the average bears
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
