This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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