How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
