Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
