is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
