i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
