ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
