A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
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