If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
third nipple confirmed
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