all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
