we have officially lost it.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
