Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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