Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
