she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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