I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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