Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
