There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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