we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
