Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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