Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
