I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
