Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
