I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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