I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
We have so much sex to catch up on
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
