A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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