I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
